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Life up to now...

So I'm chilling (literally, this place is FREEZING WTF is up with Florida A/C?!?!) in the Ft. Lauderdale airport waiting for my flight to Atlanta where my ride will be waiting to take me to Decatur to visit Columbia Theological Seminary. Which, until about 2 weeks ago, I wasn't real seriously considering but hey whatev things change. First of all they're providing room, board and transportation (except the flight itself) all weekend, how can I argue? I'm struggling to get by in most my classes except Medieval Culture right now.  Nothing that couldn't be fixed, I just need to seriously get my act together... which will be difficult a state away, but whatever it'll also get me some needed rest and perspective to buckle down and get somethings done.

I may or may not have a job when I get back too.  I should find out today.  I interviewed Monday and he told me he'd call everybody regardless of the decision.  Hopefully I'll get it, it would be absolutely ideal.  I already hang out with the group, I could make my own hours, work at home most the time, it pays well, and to be honest it's *REALLY* easy work.  Just basic admin stuff.

My friend Nicole (who I adore) posted photos of me drinking with Phi Alpha Theta (the history honors society) on facebook... I thank God I had already added the more conservative people from my church to a list that is not allowed to see photos other people have added of me.

YAY!  I get to see fall again soon!! The plane is boarding, sweet deal.

So the new Relient K album.. KILLER

No joke it's awesome. Apparently most if not the whole album is about Matty T's breakup with his fiance and yet they are some REALLY beautiful songs. My favorites are Forget and Not Slow Down, and Over It. Although 'I Don't Need A Soul' also gorgeous it's still supposed to be about a break up but it sounds a little more like the person in the song was diagnosed with a fatal illness rather than it being about a break up.

Seriously though, who would let Matty T go?

In other news I'm writing a book... or at least a short story, I'm still working on Character development.  Maybe it's a short story that will lead to more of a novel. The working title is "The Wandering" it deals with a woman who ascribes to a Christian-like faith and is called to a sect of this faith called the Seachrán.  This is a word that can mean wandering, however it's literal translation is more like 'delusional'.  In a similar way that the word Christian was originally a mocking term that is how the Seachrán have embraced their title though even within the larger community of their own faith they are still considered a joke, the restless wanderers dancing to the beat of their own drummer.  Those of the Seachrán however would argue that it is the rest of their larger faith community that has simply stopped hearing the drummer.  My main character is a reluctant member of the Seachrán, in essence "she hears the drummer" but she'd rather not dance, not that she doesn't believe that they're right or that what they're doing is wrong she just doesn't want to do what she feels she is being led to do, or maybe it's that she's scared to.

Yeah... it's a work in progress, cause while I have the idea of the plot I don't have an actual plot.

Writer's Block: Cyberstalking

Do you keep tabs on ex-boyfriends and -girlfriends over social networking sites? Do you think it's emotionally healthy or dangerous? Amusing or painful?

HA! The irony of this one is AWESOME!  I read this just when I signed in.  So I'm fasting from facebook for the week.  Or at least I'm *TRYING* to because a guy that I wasn't really in a relationship with, but I personally believe I could call an ex recently updated his status informing the world that he was in a relationship with someone.  I realized at this point that if I hadn't had any contact with him over facebook for the past 2 months I wouldn't care.  Not only that, but facebook wasn't exactly the way I would have liked to find out, it seems that common courtesy would dictate that he would have told me he met someone new especially because when we parted we kind of left it open ended.  In fact it was *HIM* who would bring up  the subject of "us" and future romantic encounters, NOT ME.  So when he just puts up that he's in a relationship with someone yeah... it was a touch shocking.

That being said, if I hadn't even bothered with facebook, I wouldn't know and I *probably* wouldn't care that much, because aside from a handful of texts we haven't communicated via anything other than facebook. So having ex's as friends on facebook is fine, keeping tabs on them? TOTALLY unhealthy.
I feel like I'd be perfectly fine if I was the one living in North Carolina.

I don't want to date anyone in Miami, men in Miami have way more issues than anyone could possibly comprehend, and all I want to do is get out of here. If I were to even meet a guy in Miami I'd end up in the same stupid cycle of impossible relationships. So at the very least I have to be single until I get out of here. The idea of being single isn't what bothers me, it's that I don't want to be here in Miami and I don't honestly have people to relate to here either. At camp I had a community of people that shared certain values with me theologically but on top of that I met someone that I relate to better than anyone I've ever known. Not to say that I couldn't meet someone else like that, I just haven't yet and I certainly won't until I can get out of Miami. People I relate to just don't exist here men or women. I have friends and all I just honestly don't have people I'd go hang out with on a weekend or just hang out with at night. I do have my roommates, who are pretty awesome this year and they are who I hang out with most the time. In fact what annoys me about Sara, and the reason I don't really want to hang out with her as much as I do, is that the girl is *TOO* nice, and it's driving me insane. I just want her to stop apologizing for everything. Or asking me if something would bothering me, or leaving the light on in our bedroom when she goes to bed before me. Granted these are great complaints to have about my roommates by ALL means. For heaven's sake I'm annoyed because she's too considerate. I just want other people to talk to, preferably more sarcastic. Considering I live with women and spend most my time around them a little more testosterone would be nice too.  The thing is, people don't hang out in Miami the same way I'm culturally used to.  In Miami rock concerts aren't a big deal, my favorite artists don't tour that far south, and similar local bands don't get gigs in Miami they have to travel north to find an audience.  People don't just go over and hang out at each others homes/dorms or go to the park, play ultimate, etc.  In fact if it's inexpensive or free it just doesn't happen.  People can't grasp that idea, and since I don't have a job I do nothing, even if I did have a job I wouldn't enjoy hanging out at a club especially when most the music is latin... I really don't like latin music.

What makes it worse at this point is that that one person I related to so well happened to be a very attractive guy. Just before he went home he admitted there was mutual interest there, but we also talked about how we couldn't really start anything because 800 miles was just too far but we'd kind of "see what happened." Which left too much hanging in the air I feel, we weren't together but then we didn't really break up either there was no clean cut, and he would allude to the possibility of being together in the future, and not a week ago he was bringing up stuff that happened between us and flirting about it and all.  Then today when he sent me a message on facebook with a link to some article he found about Miami he also seems to have decided to change his relationship status at the same time.

I really don't think it'd bother me if the roles were reversed, if I was living in North Carolina and he was in Miami and was dating a girl there it probably wouldn't bother me.  In other words, I don't think it's about *him* it's about me not wanting to be here.  If he was dating a girl here and I was up North surrounded by mountains, enjoying the fall weather and spending time in a culture closer to my own with the opportunity to do things I enjoy or spend time with people I relate to I genuinely don't think whatever he would be up to 800 miles away would bother me a bit.  The fact that he is seeing someone now just adds insult to injury.  If this was 20 years ago, I wouldn't even know, we probably wouldn't use the phone just like we haven't been *maybe* a letter or two would have been exchanged, but aside from that I just wouldn't hear anything until Christmas camp.  By which time, easily enough would have passed to just be over it all.  But no, now we have facebook, and I hear plenty of little details to remind me that this other person is still out there, and that he's able to meet people when I'm not in a position to.  It's so much easier to be present in Miami and focused on what I need to be when something like facebook doesn't exist.  At the same time I'm dependent on facebook to keep in touch with people back home.  If I just stop signing in there are tons of friends I'd also be completely cutting communication with.  It's funny, I just kind of realized that I'm not so much jealous of some girl he's dating, I'm jealous of him.  #1 he lives in the mountains of North Carolina, #2 the people he hangs out with are all my type of people they are culturally who I would spend my time with, #3 adding on to the fact that he actually meets people either one of us would want to hang out with, he actually meets people he would date, and the real kicker #4 He's not burdened with my sense of call.  

I *HATE* girl talk...

My roommate Laurah's boyfriend is a douche.  I realize she loves him, but the dude will not change until she gets a spine and stops apologizing when he gets upset that she's mad at him for being a douche.  

Dude is verbally abusive and she needs to punch him.  Or at the very least, not stay and listen to the abuse.

I'm really tired of sitting here and listening to her talk about him.

Medieval Culture Sex Week...

So... it's sex week in my Medieval Culture class.  I swear I have never heard a professor swear more in my life.  Today's class was highly entertaining.  We genuinely spent AT LEAST 10 minutes on the etymology of the word "fuck", and if my prof. forgot to erase the bord it is still up there underlined.

In the Medieval period it (or it's variant in whatever language) was used as a transitive verb directly refering to penetration.  In otherwords only men could fuck, women took the passive role.  This however is not to say that men were considered the more sexually agressive of the two genders, in fact it was the opposite.  The medical writings of the day (which yes, were generally written by men, did have contributions for women - especially those relating to sexuality) suggested that women needed a large volume of sexual activity on a regular basis to prevent illness making it physically unhealthy to not ingage in sex.   The idea of sex being bad came from the gnostics who believed that the spirit is good, and matter is bad.  Sex or rather procreation creates more matter and therefore, for this reason, sex is bad.  There's more to gnostic theology that explains how they square this ideology with the command to "go forth and multiply"  ... apparently that was the "evil" God and Jesus was the serpent.  And as my professor explained "They lost! Because they did not have sex!" I think I'm going to love professor Kriegel, she's going to be my professor for my Senior Seminar too.  She specializes in Medieval Theology... yeah, pretty much amazing.

Anyway, even women of the time period considered women to be more "sexually ravenous" than men, and it was not safe for a man to be left alone with a woman lest she "jump his bones" as my prof. tells us.  Men were considered to be more rational and able to control such desires, thus women were more passionate.  Also it was considered not possible for a woman to become pregnant unless both the man and woman acheived orgasm.  Mind you they also hadn't figured out the whole egg concept and believed that women and men both had sperm. In any case, they believed it was not possible for the woman to have not enjoyed the experience if she was impregnated.  Hmmm... sketchy.

This class is crazy.

Know what I did last night?

Last night I did something MUCH cooler than what you did.

Last night I Kayaked the Alafia river with 13 Aligators and no flashlight (Colton had a flashlight and he counted them, but Marcus and I much further away did not). Most likely I hit about 10 of them on the head while Marcus and I paddled along stargazing.  Yeah we were pretty much gator bait because we're just lying there in kayaks slowly floating down river (after paddling up river from camp for quite a way first of course).  This was pretty much a spontaneous kayak trip that we decided on at 12:30 Saturday night (or Sunday morning I suppose) With the few of us who stay at the camp on our weekends off.  Matt, and Becca came too, Becca brought a light also which really just served to scare the crap out of her because she could see all the gators swimming around her.

Updates from 'the kirk'

Holy crap, I'm pretty sure one of the counselors I supervise is clinically insane.  Her campers make excuses to go to the nurse, they ask other counselors if they can escape to their cabins.  All the kids have written home to parents telling them their counselor is really strict, when they come in to step up for meals she commands them like a drill sergeant.

Her co-counselor in the boys' cabin already told me before the week started that he and I would be having several long conversations.  The poor guy was up most the night because one of his homesick campers freaked out last night and upset the rest of the cabin so everyone was homesick and crying and he had to get them calmed down, when I went by their campsite for rounds the "crazy" one was outside practically chewing out the boy who freaked out due to homesickness (not making the situation better, obviously) while the other boys were all inside listening to their counselor read to them.

Then there are the conspiracy theories this counselor has about her campers, plus she apparently found a letter a camper was writing home and read it in front of the whole cabin.  Mind you this letter was all about how mean their counselor was.

I need to come up with code names for these counselors so I can write more elaborately about them, but seriously girl is a nutcase and considering it's a little early in the summer to fire her (plus I don't have the authority to do that), also it's difficult to pull someone mid-week, thankfully the volunteer worship leader is hanging out with them a bit more to water down the crazy. WOO HOO!!

It will be an awesome father's day...

So in just over a week it's Father's day, and my gift to my dad will be a touch self serving.  You see... the Seattle Mariners, along with Ken Griffey Jr. will be playing in Tampa Bay in September... and guess what I have tickets to...

So I bought tickets to the game on the 22nd right next to left field and hopefully Jr will be playing out there that day and not just DH.  I'm planning on also getting tickets to the game on the 23rd, but I REALLY want to get tickets right above the visitors dugout but those tickets are REALLY pricey so I'm going to try to negotiate with my mom some sharing of the cost.  Otherwise I may need to do one of the following, save up, sit higher up, or get tickets near where I got the tickets for the 22nd.

It's exciting because it's the Mariners, it's exciting because it's Griffey and yeah I've seen the Mariners play and I've seen Griffey play but I haven't been to see Griffey play ON the Mariners and this may just be his last season so I've gotta go to these games.  What I'm really hoping for is that he'll stick around 1 more year and I can get back and see him play in Safeco but that's probably a bit too much to wish for.

Woohoo new roomies in a hip area of town

Dude... my new place is within walking distance of both Publix (Safeway of the south) and Winndixie (Harvest foods, ie Mitchel's or Loney's, of the south), a handful of wine bars, a pizza place or two, right across the street is a bistro and cafe.  I can walk to the bank, Starbucks... or I *Think* maybe even a locally owned coffee place I need to do more exploring, I don't have a key just yet so venturing for too long could get me locked out if someone else leaves but Sara is going to make me a copy tomorrow.

It's totally awesome living  with rational thinking individuals.  Also, as far as the alcohol thing... I walked in and noticed a bottle of Columbia Crest on the counter... not just wine, but WASHINGTON wine.  Oh yes, I'm going to get along here just fine.  These people are actually willing to get a REAL internet connection!  I've never had a problem paying for one in the past, the only problem has been making sure my roommates are going to pull their weight on the bill, in the past they wouldn't but these ones will!  Also they gave me cookies when I moved in and have cooked me dinner two nights in a row.  Also they're educated, have good taste in movies and tv shows (though they need to be introduced to Psych) and have about the same standard of clean as I do.


Shawn & Gus
Learning to Espouse the Ideology of a Pineapple

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November 2009


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